Hormonal Armageddon
by Neogami
Summary: Alucard and Walter mysteriously get transported into another dimension where they're seniors in High school. They attempt to blend in as much as possible until they figure out how to get home. WxOC and later AxOC. Some OOCness. Possible lime later.
1. School and Sleepover Part 1

Heyy, here's Neogami with another Hellsing fic. But this time, I had some help from El Manana Chica and a friend who doesn't have an account of FFN(We'll call her A.)!

Here's the 411, Walter and Alucard somehow get transported into another dimension and turned into teenagers. The only way they can get back to the 'Hellsing' dimension is to pass their senior year of high school. Don't ask how, I'll think of something. Romance, embarrassing situations, catfights, blowjobs, and a bit of humor sprinkled in! Oh, my! Forgive us if they seem OOC, we tried to keep them as in character as possible, with all those hormones and complete confusion.

Disclaimer : We, the creators of this fic, do not own Hellsing or any of its characters. This is just made by three giddy teenage girls. So have fun reading it!

El Manana Chica: Presenting to you, a Hellsing fic...

**Hormonal Armageddon.**

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Chapter one: Where am I? School and sleepover, part one!

Alucard's eyes opened as if waking from a bad dream. His vision was blurred and his head was aching horribly. A loud buzzing sound was ringing in his ears. He rolled over and squinted his eyes. There was a clock on a nightstand that said 8:00.

_'...The hell...?'_ Alucard thought, pulling the faded blue sheets off of his body. His vision was clear as a bell now, and he sat up on the bed, looking at the other end of the small room. There was another bed, opposite to his. The sheets on that one were green and looked as if someone had gotten out of bed as well.

"Well, you're finally up." A feminine voice said. Alucard looked in the direction of the voice and he saw a girl standing in a doorway. She was about 5'4, with shoulder length brunette hair. She had on a crimson, long sleeved shirt, a pair of jeans, and a pair of black converse sneakers.

Alucard stared at her enormous breasts for a minute before looking back at her face and saying,  
"...Huh?"

"Mom made breakfast, now get dressed before the bus leaves without us!" Her voice had a pleasant southern accent to it.

"What are you talking about? Where am I?" He asked, giving her a confuzed stare.

"You're at your house, in Brandon, Florida, talking to your older twin sister Cassidy, who is telling you to get your ass outta bed and get ready for school!" Cassidy said, flipping her wavy hair out of her face and giving Alucard a look of annoyance. Alucard just stared at her. She growled and pointed towards a small closet. "That's where your clothes are kept. Put some on and come downstairs, okay?" With that, Cassidy slammed the door and left Alucard staring at it, dumbfounded.

"Twin...school...What the hell have I been smoking?" He went over to the closet and put on a black T-shirt that said in white lettering 'I quit the band, now I play with myself.' (Which he laughed at, by the way.), a pair of loose jeans and some black sandals. He noticed another door right beside the closet. Alucard looked around, and then opened the door. It was dark inside the room. He felt around the wall and flipped the switch for the lights and when they turned on, he found himself staring at his own reflection. At first, he didn't know what--or _who_--it was. He moved backwards, and so did his reflection.

_'Oh, duh, Alucard. Mirror. I must not be undead anymore...'_ He though, touching the mirror with the tips of his fingers. He looked more closely at his reflection. He looked so much _younger_ than usual. His skin was no longer pale, but a tannish color. His eyes were brown, and his hair was shaggy and hanging over his forehead. His arms were no longer muscular, but skinny, and his hands were large and spiderlike. He still had his broad shoulders and was still very tall. His face looked the same, just younger. His voice was also the same as normal.

_'At least I still have those...WAIT...'_ Alucard was just about to pull down his pants when he heard the familiar southern voice yell 'Hurry up, ya moron!'.

"Shit.." Alucard muttered, as he dashed out of the room and down the stairs. Cassidy stood at the bottom of the stairs, in front of the front door, holding out a black and red backpack to Alucard.

"The bus is here. C'mon." She said as Alucard took his bookbag and hoisted it onto his shoulder.

"Bye guys! Have a good day at school!" Another southern accent called.

"We will, mom! Bye!" Cassidy yelled, dragging Alucard by his wrist out the door. As they stepped onto the bus, Cassidy dragged Alucard into a seat next to a familiar dark-haired boy, and seated herself between a brunette-haired girl with freckles and her hair in a long braid down her back, and a spiky, green-haired boy with light brown skin.  
"Alucard..?" A familiar, British voice said. Alucard looked over at the boy next to him.  
"Walter? Oh, thank God, someone I know! What the hell's going on here?" Alucard said, a hint of relief in his voice.

"I don't know much, but I was told we're in some other dimension, and the only way to get out is to pass our senior year of high school." Walter said in a hushed voice, so no one but Alucard could hear him.

"That's not what I'd call 'not knowing much', Walter, and Who told you?"

"I don't know, they were dressed in all pink, and they had on a mask, so I couldn't see their face." Walter said, not realizing his voice came back to a normal level of speaking.  
"PINK? Why the hell would someone dress in all pink?" Alucard said, his voice also returning to normal volume.  
"I don't know!"

Cassidy, and her two friends sat behind them, taking in all of their words, not sure how to react. The green haired boy reacted first.

"Hey, baby." He said, putting his arm around Cassidy and kissing her cheek.

"Hey, Sierra." She said, pecking him on the lips.

"No PDA on this bus!" Yelled the cranky driver when he saw the act.

"Then you should quit PDAing the mirror, fatso!" Sierra yelled back, causing the bus to roar with laughter. Having a smartass boyfriend had its benefits, though it could be annoying at times. Cassidy smiled as that thought ran through her mind. Breda, the brunette girl, giggled as Alucard turned around and looked at Cassidy, asking,

"What the hell's a PDA?" Cassidy rolled her eyes,

"You really are a dumbass if you don't know that, Alucard..." Walter pulled Alucard back into his seat and said,

"Penis Digging in Ass, now sit down! Do you wanna get beaten up??" Alucard went completely silent, with a shocked and disgusted look on his face.

Breda looked over the seat and poked Alucard in the head.

"You're Cassidy's younger twin, aren't you? Well, that's not what PDA means. It means Public Displays of Affection, not something perverted." She said, her emerald eyes glaring at the embarassed Walter. Walter sighed exasperatedly through his embarassment,

"I was on a roll. You just can not bear to see Alucard fall gullible to anything, can you?" Breda smiled and gave Alucard a look as if to say 'sweet name'. Then she turned her head back to Walter and said,

"For someone worried about being beaten up, you're pretty bold. Should I come up there and sit between the both of you so you don't start talking about his sister's ches--" Breda was pulled back and Alucard smirked as he heard Cassidy yelling something about 'her brother not sick enough to talk about his twin sister's chest'.

"So...about Cassidy's boobs.." Alucard said rather loudly, earning his a whack upside the head from his older twin. Cassidy gave Alucard a death glare, from over the seat, that, if given the proper circumstances, would match that of Integra. Alucard paled slightly and gulped nervously. Walter laughed and said,

"I bet you got an image of Cassidy and her boyfriend 'Penis Digging in Ass'-ing, eh, Alucard?" Alucard chuckled.

"OKAY, as soon as we get to school, I'm killing you both!" Cassidy yelled, causing the whole group to bust into fits of laughter.

When the bus driver dropped his vehicle's passengers off at the school, he gave Sierra and Cassidy an evil look before he drove the bus away. "Stupid teenage couples.." he muttered under his breath viciously.

The friends compared schedules and headed to their designated classes. Alucard had Chemistry with Breda, Walter, and another of the group, a plump, blonde-haired girl named Nevina. Sierra and Cassidy headed to Physics, holding hands and sharing secret smiles.

In chemistry, everyone was assigned a partner. Luckily, Alucard got someone he knew at least a little bit, Breda. Walter wasn't so lucky. He got a voluptuous latino girl by the name of Nadia. With all the teenage hormones racing in their bodies, Walter couldn't help but stare at her adorable spanish booty. The blonde girl, Nevina, got a short, skinny emo boy by the name of Christopher, who preferred everyone to refer to him as 'Morphine'.

In Physics, everyone got to choose who they sat next to. So, naturally, Sierra and Cassidy sat next to each other. On the other side of Sierra sat a slutty blonde girl by the name of Victoire, who had been crushing on Sierra ever since sophomore year--the year Cassidy and Sierra became a couple. Sierra had never paid any mind to her, his mind was always on Cassidy. Cassidy, on the other hand, was always worried Sierra would leave her for Victoire. Anyways, back to chemistry. Alucard and Breda were mixing chemicals, just like the rest of the class, when bubbles began to fly out of the beaker and burst into flames.

"Ah...ah! Mr. Belcher! Help!" Breda yelled, jumping around. Alucard just stood and stared at her with an amused look on his face, dodging the occasional flame-bubble. Mr. Belcher, the old, deaf chemistry teacher, was sitting at his desk, typing away at his computer, apparently not hearing Breda's calls. Alucuard glanced over at Walter and his sexy chemistry partner.

"I-I'm not sure I know how t-to pour this right...could you h-help me, Nadia..?" Walter stuttered, his hand shaking violently as he held the bottle of chemicals in his hand.

"Okay, Walterr." Nadia replied, rolling her 'r' with that irresistible spanish accent. She took his hand in hers and they poured the chemical in together. Walter blushed, and noticed Alucard snickering at him. He gave him a death glare, which made Alucard bust out laughing. But then, as Alucard was laughing, a fire-bubble exploded on his cheek, leaving a black mark on his face.

"OW!" Alucard exclaimed, putting his hand on his cheek and wincing. Breda got fed up and picked up the beaker, walked over to the sink, poured it down the drain, and turned on the water.

"Alucard, c'mere!" Breda said, motioning for Alucard to walk over as she turned off the water. Alucard obediently walked over, still holding his cheek. Breda took a paper towel and rinsed it with warm water.

"Move your hand, please.." Breda muttered, pulling Alucard's hand from his face and slowly wiping the black mark off his cheek, causing Alucard to wince. Breda noticed this and said, smirking,

"Does it hurt?" Alucard smirked at her.

"Nah. Not that much." Breda rolled her eyes and stepped on the stool to reach up in the high cabinet for some Neosporin and a Band-aid. Alucard, being Alucard, couldn't help but stare at her rear as she reached up into the cabinets.

"Found it," She muttered, happily getting off the stool and taking the cap off the tube.

"Now, hold still.." Breda said, gently spreading the Neosporin on his burn. He stared at her emerald eyes, 'causing her to look into his. She blushed a little, then unwrapped the Band-aid and placed it on the burn, her thumbs brushing against his skin. The two of them walked back to their desk and sat down, an akward silence between the two of them. Breda broke it first, by saying,

"You have soft skin. What kind of soap do you use?" Alucard gave her a wierd look before hesitantly replying,

"The...white kind..?" Breda giggled and smiled at his answer.

"You know...you're pretty cool for someone who transfered from another school for being made fun of too much."

_'Say WHAT?'_ Alucard thought, looking away from her.

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't know it was such a sensetive subject.." Breda apologized quickly. Alucard looked over at her.

"Wha..? That's not why I..." He muttered. For the rest of the class, the two of them were silent. When the bell rang, they both went to their classes. Alucard had calculus with Sierra and Walter, and Breda had French with Nevina and Cassidy. Alucard stared blankly at Mrs. Clowes as she wrote down numbers and symbols on the chalkboard. His mind was on other things. Like how he'd transferred because of being teased too much, or how he reacted to what Breda said.

_'Shit...I bet she thinks I'm some sort of wimp now...'_ He thought, his face flushing with embarrassment. Then he thought back to when she was getting the Neosporin, and he smirked. _'That girl's got a cute arse.'_ He let out a small chuckle and Walter glanced at him, smirking.

_'I bet he's thinking of something perverted. So Alucard.'_

Breda gave a sad look at the group worksheet they were assigned. They were given a French crossword puzzle because the teacher, Ms. Beauchamp's, dog had gotten ahold of her lesson plans and ripped them apart. Then peed on them. The woman explained this to them when Nevina questioned her about the 'silly worksheets'. But, anyways, back to Breda.

"Ce qui est la matière, Breda? (What is the matter, Breda?)" Cassidy asked, a look of concern on her face as she questioned her best friend.

"No need to speak French, Cass. No one's listening in on us." Breda said sarcastically, smirking at Cassidy.

"It's something that happened between her and Alucard in chemistry, Cass." Nevina said, grabbing Cassidy's attention immidiately.

"What? What happened? Did he make fun of you? Grope you? What?" Cassidy asked excitedly, her voice's volume heightening with every word she said.

"It's nothing, Cass. It's just...I think I might've said something that hurt his feelings.." Breda replied, her eyes gazing sadly at the blue starry poster on the wall.

"Oh, I'm sure you didn't, unless you made fun of his weenie. Which I'm sure you didn't because you're not sick and twisted." Cassidy said flatly.

"Cassidy, vous êtes une fille étrange. (Cassidy, you are a strange girl.)" Nevina said, smirking at Cassidy.

"Seulement aux gens qui ne sont pas moi! (Only with people who aren't me!)" Cassidy said, causing the three girls to giggle madly.

"Vous trois, soyez tranquille cette minute! (You three, be quiet this minute!)" Ms. Beauchamp yelled at the three three of them.

"Oui, Madame Beauchamp. (Yes, Madame Beauchamp.)" The three of them said simultaniously.

The rest of the day went without anything remarkable happening. Until lunch, that is.

"Bredaaaaa!" A dirty-blonde, shaggy-haired girl squealed, hugging Breda exitedly.

"Hey Ashley!" Breda replied, hugging her back. Alucard and Walter stared at this, waiting for someone to mention 'the PDA'. Instead, Cassidy and Nevina ran up and made it a group hug, leaving Walter, Alucard, and Sierra standing there akwardly.

"Soooo...what kind of music do you guys listen t--" Sierra looked around and Walter and Alucard had already seated themselves at an empty table. Sierra sighed and seated himself next to Alucard. "You guys don't like the school food either?" Sierra asked the two dark-haired boys.

"Uhhhh...I dunno..." Walter said flatly. Suddenly, he found himself being glomped by a certain dirty-blonde-haired girl.

"Hi, I'm Ashley! What's your name?" Ashley asked Walter, letting go of him and seating herself by his side.

"He's Walter.." Alucard muttered, staring at the table. Ashley smiled and poked Alucard's nose.

"What's your name?" She asked with an adorably high-pitched voice. Alucard looked up at her and raised an eyebrow.

"Alucard." Walter muttered at her. Ashely gasped and stared at Walter with wide-open eyes. She said slowly, in a deep voice,

"Say...that...again..?" Walter stared at her for a moment, not sure how to react.

"Uhm...why do you want me to say 'Alucard' again?" Walter questioned. Ashley's eyes got wider and she hugged him tightly. Walter's hormones were kicking in again as he felt large female breasts pressed against his side. He blushed and started twitching, slightly. Alucard and Sierra smirked at this.

"You have a British accent. That is so COOL!" Ashley squeaked, nuzzling his neck, which made his face go from pink, to red. He slowly wrapped his arm around her slender back and patted it akwardly.

"Th-th-thank you...?" Walter stuttered, making Alucard and Sierra explode into laughter. As one girl passed their way, Ashley let go of Walter and waved her hand at her, calling,

"Wamuiru, Wamuiru!" The slender African American girl twirled around and trotted back over to the table.

"Hey Ashely. What's up?" Wamuiru said, smiling, her braided hair hanging over her petite shoulders.

"Nothing much. Did Nadia get her VD test results back yet?" As Walter heard this, he felt his heart sink into his intestines.

_'She's a slut! I HAVE to get a new chemistry partner!'_ He thought, staring at the table with a repulsed expression plastered onto his face.

"Yeah. Unfortunately, it's a positive. She's got genital herpe--"

"EWWWWWWWW!!!" The three boys screamed in unison, before Wamuiru could finish her sentence.

"Give Nadia my condolences. See ya!" Ashley replied cheerfully.

"Byes." Wamuiru said as she walked off. Ashley smiled cheerfully at the three boys, whose heads were face-down on the table in disgust.

For the rest of lunch the three boys were silent. Actually, for the rest of the day, too. When school was letting out, and everyone was being loaded onto the buses, the group decided to ride to Cassidy and Alucard's house to do homework and watch 'Kung-Pow: Enter the Fist.' When the seven teenagers hopped off the bus and walked into the house, they all left their shoes at the front door and trotted up the stairs to do their homework.

"Walter, can you help me with this?" Ashley asked sweetly.

"Sure." Walter replied. As he explained what the problem meant to Ashley, Nevina and Cassidy chit-chatted about group couplings.

"Walter and Ashley look like a cute couple, don't they?" Nevina asked Cassidy in a quiet voice.

"Yeah...but look at Breda and Alucard.." Cassidy said, pointing to Breda, who was poking Alucard playfully.

"Why are you poking me?" Alucard laughed, staring at the giddy teenage girl.

"To start a poke war." Breda stated, a grin plastered onto her face. Alucard took her invitation and started rapidly poking her in various places, making her giggle loudly.

"If that's not flirting, I don't know what is." Nevina laughed quietly. Cassidy smirked at the two couples, and a thought immidiately entered her mind. Cassidy, after watching the poke war between Alucard and Breda, piped up,

"Let's play Seven minutes in Heaven!" It sounded like an awesome idea, so Nevina explained the rules to Alucard and Walter while Cassidy got the straws. Coming back, she answered to confused expressions,

"This is how we're choosing who goes in first -- the two people with the shortest straws. Ready... Set... Draw straws!" The two people with the shortest straws were (as expected) Alucard and Breda. Cassidy smiled and shoved the pair into her closet, then closed the door and removed the doorknob, in case the two thought of escaping. Laughing, she said in a singsong voice,

"Seven minutes in Heaven, what'll you do? Seven minutes in Heaven is good for you!"

Breda gulped nerveously. Because of being thrown in, the two of them were lying on the ground, Alucard on top of Breda, his face unintentionally buried into her slender neck. Coats and jackets had falled on top of their heads, and there was no way of seeing anything in the pitch-black closet.

"S-Should we just lay here..? We can't do much else in this darkness.." Breda stuttered.

"Looks like we don't have much of a choice, now do we?" Alucard said, taking his face out from her neck and lying his head on her shoulder. A squeak emitted from Breda's mouth and Alucard's head popped up.

"What is it?" He asked, looking into the nothingness.

"It's just...you're really big...and I'm kinda being crushed..." Breda squeaked, her face completely red from the two of their bodies being so close. The other five teenagers' ears were pressed to the door and they all exchanged glances when they heard a male voice ask, "Well, do you wanna get on top?"

"Oh my god!" Cassidy whispered. Their ears were superglued to the door as they heard the familiar sound of clothes rustling.

"N-No, I'd rather we just lay side-by-side.."

"OH MY GOD!!" The teenagers yelled simultaniously. Cassidy reached for the doorknob, when a knocking was heard from the other side.

"Is it time for us to come out yet?" Breda asked. Cassidy gladly opened the door and the two red-faced teenagers stumbled out.

"Thanks...it was getting pretty hot in there..." Alucard said, pulling a strand of hair out of his eyes.

"I'm sure it was..." Walter mumbled, smirking. Next, they drew straws again, and Walter and Ashley got pushed into the closet.

"Wow...this is...akwa--What the hell?" Walter felt his pants being undone.

"I'm gonna hide in your pants! Can I suck on your English muffin?" Ashley asked, happily pulling down his pants and boxers.

"Well, I--Oh, G-God.." Walter stuttered, feeling his 'happy place' having things done to it I'll not mention. Ten minutes passed, with the teenagers hearing Walter's moans, they had no idea what was going on. Alucard finally mustered up the courage to open the door, and what he saw was something he didn't wish to see. He stood there in silence for a moment, staring at the two dumbfounded teenagers.

"Uhhmm...I...dropped my hair-tie.." Ashley said akwardly.

"Down his throat? And why are his pants off?" Alucard asked, knowing perfectly the answer to both of those questions.

"I...uhh...had to give him SPR."

"You mean CPR?"

"No, SPR. Sucking Penis Revival."

"To revive his...?" Alucard pointed to Walter's happy place, which was poking out rather far.

"Right." Ashley replied. Alucard shut the door to let them finish.

The others was now completely finished with Seven Minutes in Heaven - they needed a new game. After a suggestion of Truth or Kiss, the seven teens sat in a circle and (ironically enough) span a bottle to see who would go first. Fate had made sure that Sierra would go first in this game. His eyes locked with those of Cassidy, which provoked him into asking her,

"Truth or kiss?" With the response of 'truth' he asked, "What is your deepest fear?" Silence followed the question, which caused everyone to look at her. Every other female in the room knew what it was, but the poor souls of the male species were absolutely clueless.Cassidy sighed as Sierra gave her that look which screamed 'Tell me!'. She had been planning on talking to him about it, but not this soon. Sighing, she replied,

"Sierra... My deepest fear is that you'll... you'll leave me for Victoire," the tears began coursing down her cheeks then and there, so she excused herself and went downstairs.

'He hates me now...' was the only thought her mind could contain. Sierra's eyes were wide as he sat on the floor in shock for about a minute. He shook himself out of his reverie and headed down the stairs, heart beating faster with every step.

"Cassidy?" the green-haired teen quietly called his girlfriend's name. He found her in the living room, lying upon one of the couches in fetal position with sobs racking her entire frame. Before Cassidy realized it, Sierra was holding her tightly, stroking her hair and whispering sweet reassurances in her ear.The brunette wrapped her arms around him, afraid to let go.

"Sierra, y-you're not made at me or anything are you? You're not gonna l-l-leave me for Victoire, are you?" fear still lingered in her voice. Sierra lifted her chin so that her eyes met his and passionately kissed her lips. After a few minutes, he broke the kiss and asked with a smile,

"Does that answer your question?"

The two teenagers returned to the room to find it empty. Cassidy and Sierra walked over to the guest room to find the rest of the group on the huge bed, waiting for them.

"It's dark out, so we figured we'd start the movie when you guys got back." Nevina stated. Sierra and Cassidy smiled and sat on the floor in front of the bed, awaiting the start of the movie. Alucard pushed the button, and the movie began.

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Yeah, yeah, I know. 'How did Walter and Alucard get put into another dimension?' and 'Why only Walter and Alucard?' To answer the first question, I'm working on it! Second question, because they're my favorite Hellsing characters! If you don't like it, you didn't have to read it! Creative crticism is nice, but just telling me how stupid the fic is is just rude. So please, for the love of muffins, review!! - El Manana Chica, Neogami, and A.


	2. Sleepover Part Deux

Hey. EMC and I are back from the dead! Sorry it took so long. xD;; A can't do it anymore, but EMC and I are still trying to get more chapters in.

We don't own Hellsing. If we did, it'd probably a lot funnier. Or have more nudity. We don't own Tresseme either.

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Chapter 2: Sleepover part 2

"_Walter…..what the HELL is this?" Integra asked as she stared with disbelief at the giant metal contraption before her._

"_I'm not entirely sure yet. Something Millenium has been working on that Alucard managed to steal," Walter replied, his eyebrows knit together in confusion."Do YOU know what it is, Alucard?"_

"_No….but if Millenium had it, it can't be good." Alucard muttered, examining the machine to keep them from noticing his excited smile. He didn't know if it was harmless or not—he just wanted something to entertain him…..and to piss off Integra. She was pretty hot when she got angry._

"_Well, since Alucard found it, he should be the one to figure out its purpose," Integra ordered, "Walter, you supervise his experimentation. Make sure he doesn't kill anyone with that…..thing."_

"_Yes, Sir Hellsing." Walter replied. They both waited and stared at Alucard as he tinkered with the machine. After a few minutes, he looked up at them and blinked in confusion._

"…_Yes?"_

"_Alucard, you figure out what this thing is, and Walter supervises. Understand?" She repeated, her eyebrow arched in impatience. He mumbled his consent and she turned on her heel out the door. Walter sighed and examined the machine._

_It was about seven feet tall, completely made of metal. On the right side, it had several buttons, levers and one black-and -green screen. The front had a door about six feet tall with a small handle on the right side, and the whole machine was around four feet wide. It was amazing Alucard got it out of there without anyone noticing._

"_Alucard….If you got where Millenium's scientists were…..why didn't you kill them?" Walter asked, walking over and pulling the door open and walking into the small chamber and sitting on the seat inside._

"_Who said I didn't kill them?" The red-clad vampire smirked and pushed a couple buttons, making the machine whirr and beep and numbers to pop up on the screen randomly. Walter made the mistake of sitting down in the chair and the moment the machine began making noise, metal rodscame up from beside his seat and strapped him in._

"_Alucaaard! Heeeeelp!!" He screamed, struggling against the rods. The one day he didn't bring his killer dental floss…._

_Alucard jumped up and ran into the chamber. When he got in, he accidentally bumped his leg into the door and it shut on them. When the door closed, the machine began to shake and jerk Alucard around inside._

"_I CAN'T GET THE DAMN STRAPS OFF!!" Alucard yelled in frustration._

"_WELL, TRY HARDER!" Walter screamed back, apparent fear in his voice._

"_EASY FOR YOU TO SAY, YOU'RE SITTING! I CAN BARELY KEEP MY FUCKING BALANCE!" Alucard bellowed, his body thrashing from side to side with the machine. Suddenly, a bright light shone and the both of them lost consciousness._

_

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_

Alucard's eyes opened in a daze and he remembered where he was. The dim light of the television illuminted the whole room and he only vaguely noticed the cow and man fighting on the screen. He looked around at the teenagers sleeping on the bed. He was on one end, and Nevina was in the middle of him and Breda. He turned over to see Ashley cuddled up to a snoring Walter, his bangs completely covering his eyes. Then he noticed the two missing—his 'sister' and Sierra. There was a faint sound coming from the room next to the one they were in. He groped for the remote on bed, finding it between the fingers of the sleeping blonde next to him. Alucard carefully removed it from her fingers, causing a small 'coo' to escape her full, pouted lips. He lowered the volume and the faint sound became louder and louder. It was a familiar sound. The sound of a headboard hitting a wall and a girl's hushed moaning.

"Lovely time for them to fuck…" Alucard muttered, wiping his tired eyes and searching the room for a digital clock, "…Two fourty-fucking-three." He sighed and let his head relax on the fluffy pillow beneath it. His previously silky black hair felt greasy against his head.

'_I need to shower,'_ He thought, _'Haven't thought that in a few hundred years. Haha.'_ He slowly pulled himself out of bed and walked into the adjoining room, hoping it was a bathroom with a shower. He snaked his hand across the wall of the dark room and flipped the first switch he could find. The room began whirring like the machine from his dream/flashback and he flipped the switch down. Having no idea why humans would need a fan in their bathroom, he flipped the switch next to the one for the fan and the room lit up.

Alucard closed the door and flipped the lock on the handle. He was still half asleep, so he barely noticed the details of the bathroom when he removed his clothing. He sluggishly walked over to the shower and pulled the door closed. He opened his mouth wide and yawned, fidgeting with the lever for water.

* * *

The whole room awoke startled as a scream penetrated their ears. They all looked at the door with light coming from the crack at the bottom. Breda yawned and peeled herself out of bed and across the room. She knocked on the door and asked in a slurred voice,

"You okaaaay in therrrre?" With the click of the handle, a red, furious, wet, towel-clad young man stood before them, his black hair in a greasy mess over his face. Nevina looked his pale abdomen up and down, letting out a shy giggle. Breda stood there staring at his body for a moment.

"....You're naked." She mumbled.

"Yes. I am. Do you know how to work this shower?" He asked, trying to keep his temper under control. She yawned and nodded her head, showing little to no emotion. Alucard grabbed her by the arm and pulled her into the bathroom and over to the shower.

Ashely giggled and played with Walter's hair. Walter groaned and let his head rest on the blue carpeting.

"Five bucks says…" Ashley yawned, "…that those two end up doing it." She finished the first braid and started on a new one. Nevina chuckled and glanced into the bathroom. Alucard was standing there in a towel, practically yelling at Breda to quit mumbling as she pulled the lever for water, sending the liquid spewing out of the showerhead and twisting it around. Walter looked up and blinked a couple times at the two teenagers in the shower.

"Y'really think that?" Walter muttered.

"Oh, yeah. He's been checking her out since they met on the bus. I just wonder when they'll slap skin—sooner or later." Ashley said bluntly.

"Ashley, you think any guy and girl that _speaks_ to each other are gonna have sex." Nevina stated, an eyebrow arched at Ashley.

"Well, at the school we go to, most of them _do_ end up fucking. A couple people have even ended up preggo. I mean, look around. Where's Cassidy and Sierra, hm?" Ashley said finishing her third braid. The sound of feet slapping tile getting louder stopped Nevina from replying.

"You'd think the dumbfuck had never showered before…" Breda mumbled as she walked over to the bed and climbed under the covers. Alucard walked over to the doorway and said,

"Thanks for _closing the door_, Breda." Alucard said sarcastically before he slammed the door in frustration. She mumbled a 'No problem' back to him and rolled over on her side, curling up to go back to sleep. Nevina laughed and pulled the covers over her.

"I dunno about you guys, but I'm going to bed. G'night." Nevina stated and rolled to face away from Ashley and Walter. Walter had fallen asleep on Ashley's lap. She pulled the extra blanket from the end of the bed and wrapped it around her and Walter, lying back on the ground. Soon the room had fallen back into a deep slumber.

* * *

Alucard stood there in the white-tiled room, letting the hot water pour down body from his head to his toes. His head was bowed and his eyes were closed, partly because he was half-asleep and he didn't need water in his eyes at two—almost three—in the morning. He ran his hand through his hair and remembered he needed to wash it. There was, however, a problem. He didn't know what the _fuck_ conditioner or shampoo was, _or even did_. He hesitantly grabbed for the white bottle labeled _'Tresseme'_ and poured some of its contents into his hand.

'…_.Now what?' _His mind asked him. It shouldn't be this hard to remember. Police girl grabbed one bottle, put some goo on her head, lathered and rinsed. Then she repeated—but with the contents of a _different _bottle. They were black and white, like the ones in front of him. He only paid that much attention to the _bottles_, though. Who cared about shampoo names when a girl like Seras was sitting there naked? But now Alucard was regretting that he didn't know which bottle she emptied into her palm first. He took a chance and put the white, flower-scented goo in his hair.

* * *

"Are you _sure_ you can't stay?" Cassidy asked, pulling the sheet over her chest and reaching her hand out invitingly. Sierra smiled at her, the moonlight turning his hair from an emerald green to a neon teal. He finished buttoning his jeans and leaned his face to hers, touching his nose to hers.

"You know I can't. Your mom would freak if she knew we spent the night in the same house." He said huskily, giving her a quick peck on the lips and turning around, "Now…where's my shirt?"

Cassidy looked around and spotted it hanging from the headboard, pulled it off and hopped off the bed. Sierra felt a pair of skinny arms wrap around his waist, and then a body press against his back.

"Ah…stop making it so hard to leave…" He muttered, spinning around and embracing her, pulling her off the ground. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed it as she said,

"Then don't." He chuckled and set her back down on the ground. Sierra pulled his shirt from her hand and over his head. Slipping on his flip-flops, he kissed her on the cheek and said goodbye. It was only after she began cleaning that she noticed the condom on the bed. It was only after she picked it up that she noticed it was broken.


End file.
